Sep 6
Sept 5: Sofia was very concerned that Fifi be safe when I drove to my office.
Sep 4
Sofia and I taking self-portraits on the carousel with our “cameras”.
If they catch you estimating height with that thing, they’re going to throw you right out.
Sep 3: “Dad, I’m reading my book.”
Their Ability To Steal Skittles Is Truly One Of God's Miracles
- Me and Sofia: (coming home after 3+ hours at the zoo)
- Me: So what was your favorite animal at the zoo?
- Sofia: Um...the squirrels.
Sep 2: Sofia and Larry the Fu Dog rock out to celebrate the new boots.
Sep 1: An emu at the Seattle zoo.
Complaints
One of the benefits of getting older is that I get to make crotchety complaints about ridiculous subjects. Here are a couple:
Complaint 1: Book Covers
I’ve decided that I am opposed to the use of stock photography on book covers, particularly novels. I’m reading The Gathering right now, and the photo is terrible. It’s lame and cliche, and you can practically see the Google search that the intern used to find it. This book deserves better.
So listen up, publishers: either commission original artwork, or stick with text-only covers. Really good typography is going to impress me far more than a lame picture.
Complaint 2: Loyalty Programs
Against my better judgement, I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday. (They have a good selection, and when your toddler is potty training there is a certain value to only needing to visit one store.) When I went to pay, I got a 5-minute harangue from the cashier about joining their stupid Barnes & Noble club. I said no politely, thinking that would be the end of it, but she just. kept. going. With every single item she scanned I had to be updated on how much I would have saved if I were a member and the mathematical relationship of those savings to the annual membership fee, the disdain in her voice rising as the dollars climbed ever higher. I wanted to shout in her stupid market-y face, but I just stood there staring at her. When my punishment was over, I just grabbed my bag and left. She didn’t even say thank you. It was more like a trip to the principal’s office than a retail transaction. Nice customer experience, B&N. Your loyalty program is obviously working, since I now hate your company.
So listen up, retailers: I do not want to have a relationship with you. We are not dating. I do not want your come-ons, your updates, your newsletter, or your “discounts”. I just want to buy stuff. If I like you and decide to let you get to first base with me, I will tell you. So just back off.